“If you're a bottom, you’re sometimes seen as a slut,” he says. Chris White, an expert in health promotion and the director and principal investigator of the Safe and Supportive Schools Project at the Gay-Straight Alliance Network in San Francisco, takes this one step further. “With bottoming there is the perception that you're giving up your masculinity because receiving a penis is something that women do,” Miller adds.ĭr. The ongoing fetishization of masculinity means that the traditionally submissive role of the bottom is associated with effeminacy. “What I mean by that,” he says, “is that cultural forces within the gay community prize topping over bottoming.” It could open up a world of possibilities.Īs Miller explains, there are outside forces that, dating back to the ancient Greeks, have prevented gay men from truly digging into what sexual behaviors we might actually enjoy. So, with the help of some experts, let’s take a moment to dismantle what you think you know about topping and bottoming.
Sure, people have a preference, but now could be the perfect time to escape the top or bottom prison you live in. But it ought not to be impossible to sexually switch things up. These two subdivisions have their own rules, stereotypes, and in-jokes, and can sometimes seem as if they’re at war with each other, rather than both working together for mutual sexual pleasure.Īll of this can make trying different things daunting, especially if you’re a baby gay venturing into this world for the first time. But often, penetrative sex can feel divided into rigid binaries that make being a top or a bottom seem like a cult you’ve signed up to for life, and one that you have to declare as soon as two (or more) consenting men decide to take their clothes off and rub up against each other. This is clearly not the case, especially for those people who consider themselves versatile ( HIYA). So there you have it – the main differences between a twink and a pup for gay men.Legend would have you believe that once you’ve earned your gay card, a Harry Potter–like ceremony occurs where, instead of the Sorting Hat, a giant magical butt plug divides all gay men into two houses: tops or bottoms. After they’ve been out awhile and been exposed to dating, apps, bars, hookups, etc – they then graduate to another classification. Remember, the defining trait for a pup is their newness to the gay world. Pups can also have body hair or be smooth. Pups can be of all body types, including slender and muscular or roundish and heavy (not the same as a gay cub). Many pups are newbies to our gay world, just taking their first few steps of self-discovery as part of coming out. In gay-speak, “pups” are fairly young (18-early 20’s) with the defining feature of having almost zero experience in the gay universe. That’s a twink subtype in case you didn’t know.įYI: Technically speaking, twinks can also be pups but they aren’t exactly the same. You see, if a twink is referred to as having pretty features, they are referred to as a glamour twink. Many gay men mistakenly think of “Twinks” as pretty but that would be incorrect. There really isn’t a universally agreed upon construct here. Twinks are often thought of as smooth but they can also have body hair. Usually, they are in their 20’s and have boyish features. Example twink TWINK DEFINEDįor the most part, a twink is a guy who has a slender build. While I don’t pretend to be an expert, I will give you the basics of what I found out. Hey, you have to have something to talk about when you’re checking out the meat at the bar, right?Īfter we all went home that night – empty handed I might add – I started to do some research on twinks and pups.
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His bit of insight then led to an hour long conversation about the larger topic of gay twinks and pups – plus a few other labels thrown in for good measure – like wolves and otters.
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